Protecting the image of your relationship

“Girl, he’s so annoying, I actually can’t stand him sometimes”

Sound familiar?

We’ve all done it! Vent to a friend when we get into a disagreement with our partner. This could be because we are seeking a third party opinion. We convince ourselves that someone who is not directly involved can offer a better perspective on the issue at hand.

Whilst this is sometimes the case, I believe that unless the person you are involving does not have relation to either party, the opinion could be flawed, as it’s usually in your favour.

Individuals also vent as they feel a sense of release when they do so. I myself can relate, in the past, I’ve gone straight from an argument to call up my friend. Once I’ve let it all out, I suddenly feel better.

This is often because they’ve sided with me or seen it from my point of view when my partner perhaps didn’t. Although, I now feel better, what may my friend be thinking of my man or the relationship, especially if it’s something I’m doing regularly.

We also have to bear in mind that after a row, we are not in the most positives of moods, and could say something extremely negative about our partner in the heat of the moment, which will stick.

Before I go any further, I feel it’s vital to clarify that when I’m discussing why I believe it’s important not to discuss every relationship issue you have with family and friends. I’m referring to everyday spats, small annoyances, personal issues e.g financial or intimate.

When it’s more serious issues which involve physical, mental or emotional abuse. It’s essential that you express this to family and friends or seek professional help, as it’s not acceptable in any capacity.

So why shouldn’t every relationship issue be spoken about or relayed back to friends? Let’s discuss a few reasons:

Receiving wrong/biased advice

It’s very easy for someone who isn’t facing the dilemma/issue directly to offer advice. It usually goes like “if it was me….”

Guess what! It’s not them, it’s you! All relationships are different and what works for your friend’s relationship may not work for yours. So being encouraged or influenced to take particular action from their experience is likely to backfire.

You also need to bear in mind that only your side of the story has been heard, so when they are offering you feedback it’s likely to be biased to some degree. It’s your friend at the end of the day and their loyalty is to you.

The only two people that know the full story is you and your partner, hence why it should be discussed and resolved solely by the two of you.

Resentment of your partner

Discussing every frustration and argument you have with your partner will only result in family and friends resenting them. Just picture a time your friend bad mouthed a partner, did you not begin to form a negative opinion? even if it was only at that moment.

Many inform friends of the bad times but not so much the good, which is why a negative view could easily be formed. The outcome of this is usually them voicing that you deserve better and he/she is not the one for you.

Familiarity breeds contempt

For those who have never heard of this term, it basically means that close association with something or someone results in a loss of respect for it.

When we talk badly about our partner and our relationship, its perfectly acceptable right? after all, that’s our partner. However, when someone else does, it’s a what the f*** moment. This is, unfortunately, the outcome of oversharing.

You have invited outsiders into your relationship, so they have now become comfortable to talk badly about your other half. They are familiar with all the disagreements, have heard the negatives you have to say and now believe it’s okay to also do so. Do yourself a favour and avoid this happening by protecting the image of your relationship. Also, remember the relationship is not just yours, it’s your partners too.

Not knowing where to draw the line

There are certain topics that should never be up for discussion. Intimacy should be a no-no! your partner does not want your friends to know what goes down in the bedroom between the two of you and neither should you.

A girls night often leads to gossiping but you need to know where to draw the line. Intimate details of you and your partner’s sex life should be kept private at all cost.

Finances are also such a sensitive subject and should not be discussed with others.If your partner is experiencing financial issues, do not breach there trust by sharing this with others.

To conclude, I personally believe it’s important to protect the image of your relationship. It encourages and promotes effective communication. We learn how to deal with disagreements and issues head-on with our partner. Running to family and friends disrupts that process.

The law of attraction also plays a huge part with my whole thinking on protecting the image of your relationship. Putting the negative out there to family and friends for me is basically inviting more negative in.

Do not allow others to have front row seats to you and your partners problems, your relationship is your reality and not a movie.

Thanks for reading, I would love to know your view on this. Comment below 🙂

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The 5 love languages ❤️

In the past, I briefly skimmed through Gary Chapman’s book ’The 5 love languages’. This year I decided to read it and really get to grips with what Chapman describes as the 5 love languages and also how he thinks it can do wonders for a relationship but most importantly a marriage.

This book explains that we all have a primary love language, and that this is the way in which we tend to both feel and show love. Reading this book helped me to understand that just because I as an individual like to receive love in a particular way it doesn’t mean my partner does. It’s important to take time to know their love language and begin to act on it.

I am focusing on romantic relationships as the book also does, but I also believe this concept that Chapman coined will benefit our relationships with family, friends and others we meet on life’s journey.

In order to get a better understanding of the 5 love languages, I believe it’s a good idea to summarise them, especially for those who aren’t familiar with this theory.

Words of affirmation

Self-love and believing in ourselves is so significant to our well-being and growth. As much as that is great, it’s also an amazing feeling to know that someone else/others believe in us. Encouraging words really assist in building individuals up, in particular, those who’s dominant love language is ‘words of affirmation’.

Chapman expresses the importance of verbal compliments and explains how they are ‘powerful communicators of love’. He gives examples of this in his book, I chose two:

“You look sharp in that suit”

“You can always make me laugh”

These kinds of compliments will make your partner feel good and appreciated, it will give them the extra confidence that’s needed. We all have insecurities, showering them with encouraging words is where you come in. These words have the ability to eliminate any doubt your partner may have.

Moreover, there is also a downside to words being of such huge impact. Negative words have the power to put a downer of your partner’s parade and could result in them feeling low. If your partners love language is words of affirmation, I believe a good mindset to have is ‘think before you speak’

Quality time

Many underestimate the power of quality time. Some perceive quality time as simply spending time with one another. This book breaks it down and explains what it consist off.

Chapman states that ‘giving this person your undivided attention means practically disengaging from all outside sources’. This requires you focusing solely on your partner and not being distracted by the likes of phones, televisions of anything that could result in your attention being drawn away.

You may be an individual who is extremely busy with work, and family. Whilst these are all important aspects of life, if quality time is the way your partner feels love, you need to make it happen. We are all busy, but you make time for priorities, which your partner is. They require your time and to just be in your company, it’s not too much to ask for really, is it?

Receiving gifts

Universally, I’m sure most of us love receiving gifts, well I certainly do. Nevertheless, it’s not the most significant action that shows me love from a partner. However, for those whose primary love language is ‘receiving gifts’ it’s more than that. This signifies love to them. They want a visible gift that they are able to hold in their hand. The financial aspect of this gift is not important. This person enjoys and appreciates this gift knowing that they were thought of. It’s sentimental for this reason.

One’s partner may not be a gift giver, therefore struggles with satisfying their partner in this area. However love is about compromise and not everything will come naturally, but if a gift is what will make your spouse happy, you should be willing to make this happen. It’s a process that may not happen overnight, but with time you will see the joy it brings.

Acts of service

Now you are talking my language! Get it? By simply seeing what the 5 love languages were, I had already decided that this was mine. When I saw acts of service, the first thing that came to mind was ‘actions speak louder than words’. This is something I believe in completely, so I was sold.

However, I had to read the book to confirm my thoughts and to understand exactly what ‘acts of service’ as a love language entails.

Chapman says that those who speak this particular language ‘want their partner to recognise their life is tough and lend them a helping hand in anyway possible”.

I get stressed out quite easily, so when a partner can reduce stress for me in any way, I feel extremely appreciated. This can be by doing chores to ease the workload for me, whether that ’s cooking or washing up, basically anything I would like done. These acts require effort, and the reward will be how happy your partner feels once it’s completed.

Those with traditional values may struggle to fulfil roles such as this. Stereotypically, they see particular roles such as cooking and cleaning to be gender specific, acts women tends to carry out. However, if this is your woman’s love language, it may mean you need to alter this mindset. It may not come easily to you, but it is necessary.

The above example was related to acts a woman might appreciate, as I was talking from my perspective. If it was reversed and this was your man’s love language, of course the task or ways in which you could serve him would differ. This love language requires observation, over time you will be able to know what could help him/her out. This could be taking over something they constantly moan about doing. It could be as simple as that.

Physical touchWhat came to mind when you saw this header? For some, it was probably that it’s related to sexual intercourse.

Your not wrong, this does make up part of this love language, but it’s certainly not limited to this.

Physical touch consists also of physical contact such as embracing, holding hands and also kissing.

If this is your partners love language, this is the way they receive emotional love, a lack of this can result in them feeling unloved/less appreciated. For some, it could be hard for them to show love in this way, especially if this is not also their love language.

You may not be up for public displays of affection, which your partner may want. You may also simply not be a ‘touchy-feely person’. Whilst this may not be something you would indulge in normally if it’s the way in which your partner feels most loved, attempt to make them feel more secure in this way. This could be as simple as cuddling whilst chilling out. Your partner just wants to feel close to you in any way possible.

You probably read these 5 languages and found your self-relating to one or even more of them, maybe all. However, there is one that plays a dominant role, the one considered to be our primary love language. If you would like to have a clearer idea of your love language, (take this quiz). I believe it will help you identify your love language or at least get a clearer insight into this topic

In this post, I was only able to give a brief outline of what I got from this book. I highly recommend you purchase it, so you can form your own perspective. I really love the fact that Chapman incorporated case study’s in this book. He demonstrated the outcome of those who applied this concept to their relationship or particular situation. He also recommends ways you can integrate the particular love language of your spouse to the relationship.

Thanks for reading! What are your views on love languages as a whole? Comment below 😊

Long distance relationships 

It took me a while to decide what to write this blog post about and I finally decided to go with the topic of long distance relationships. I chose this particular topic as I know someone personally who’s in one and thought I would give my views on this topic having observed it and also from my own perspective.

New age technology and social media have made if far more easy for individuals to connect with one and other,and maintain a relationship through these means regardless of ones location. You are able to not only talk via the phone but also through video calls or messaging services. 

Long distance relationships just like most things in life have both their pros and cons. I will not be able to cover all but will take a look at a few. Starting with the positives:

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

We have all heard the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and this is definitely true. We miss those that are away from us for as little as one week so one can only imagine how heightened it will be over a longer period. Little things such as kissing or even holding hands that some of us take for granted will mean so much. Missing someone makes it more exciting when you finally get to reunite, time becomes more precious.


Traveling

Traveling is always fun especially if it involves you traveling to another country. If that country is hot even better right?. Another bonus is also stacking up on your air miles which will give you great rewards.

There is so much to explore in a place you are not from. Sites to see, activities to get involved in and food to indulge in and this makes a long distance relationship perfect. You can both experience new things together.
Although I have visited the positives there are also barriers that some may describe as negatives.

Time zones 

Time difference can prove to be a problem especially if it’s a big one, which means for instance your night time is your partners morning . A clash in schedule will mean you may be available to talk at a particular time whereas your partner may be working at the same time or vice versa. This will result in a lack of communication. However where there’s a will there’s a way.

Communication issues

Communication is key in any relationship regardless of the distance between you and your partner. However It can become more challenging to communicate effectively when you’re in different parts of the world. Disagreements may not get resolved as quickly as they should as misinterpretation can occur over the phone or via messages.

 A face to face argument can be resolved far more quickly. When the dust settle couples are able to kiss and make up reassuring their other half that all is well. This can not be done in a long distance relationship. Some could argue that this is a positive, living further apart means one is able to have space and a cool off after an argument.

Travel expenses 

Financial strain can take its toll on a long distance relationship with traveling to and from a particular destination. This could result in one or both individuals not being able to see the other as frequently as they may like or may have previously discussed. 


There are always going to be individuals around you such as your family and friends who have a view on long distance relationships. They may therefore try to discourage you but ultimately it’s down to you and how strongly you feel for the person in question and wether you see a future with them.
Personally I have always commended those that are able to be in a long distance relationship. It takes hard work ,discipline, trust and commitment to make it work which are great attributes.

Many are not open to the idea of a long distance relationship, perhaps due to the effort that has to go into it or not being able to physically be with their partner. 
However, I do believe that one should be open to the idea and not write it off completely. We do not know what the future holds for us which means the person you’re destined to be with could be on the other side of the world. If you meet someone but circumstances means you have to be apart does that mean the end for you both? Should that be a barrier? 

“Distance means so little when someone means so much.” ~ Tom McNeal 

Thanks for reading, I would love to know your views on long distance relationships. 

Does the price of an engagement ring matter? 💍

I wrote a post last month on the topic of “How long is too long to wait between engagement and marriage”. So I decided to stick to the topic of engagement, this time in regards to the price of the ring.


I have come across a lot of articles that suggest that and individual should spend 2 to 3 months of their salary on an engagement ring. My immediate thoughts were, who came up with this notion because it’s frankly ridiculous in my opinion.

An engagement ring is symbolic as it shows both love and commitment but society as somehow turned it into a way to make large amounts of financial gain in the process. I certainly do not believe their should be a fixed rule on how much should be spent on the ring as everyone’s monthly wage and responsibilities differ.

Personally I believe an individual should spend what they can afford to on the ring, and it shouldn’t leave one broke or in debt. Although I don’t think hundreds need to be spent on the ring an extremely cheap ring is also not appealing. An engagement ring will be worn with pride and also for the duration of your lives together, so yes price does matter to a certain extent. I mean you can do better than a £50 ring from Argos and I am sure many would agree.

I am not materialist and genuinely care more about the thought that went into it than the actual price, but I hear way too many people say “it can cost £10 I don’t care” but most don’t really mean that, let’s be honest. I don’t want a ring that someone wears as a day to day ring to be my engagement ring but I would also never ask my partner how much the ring cost so would be none the wiser. One can only hope.

 I would like to believe that if I am going to be engaged to my partner I know them pretty well and should trust their decision in choosing the perfect ring for the perfect price that they can afford. At this stage in our relationship I should be aware of my partners financial circumstances and will certainly not want them to go above their means and would be annoyed if they did so. 

Although we all want a lovely diamond, it is also important to look at the bigger picture. This ring is just the first stage and just the start of the money that will need to be forked out towards our future. There is still the actual big day itself ,wedding ring/band, the honey moon and our lives after marriage, just to mention a few. 

When writing this post there was a particular factors that came to mind. One that I believe has the potential and probably previously has influenced how much is spent on the ring. This was:

Family and friends
Family and friends shouldn’t influence how much you spend on the ring but they do. Family do tend to give their unwanted views a lot in situations such as this, but in all honesty it is none of their business and the price of the ring should be solely down to you the buyer. 

I have read many threads about parents of the bride not being happy with how much was spent on the ring. Number one I think it’s rude for ones parents to ask the price of the ring and secondly the soon to be bride shouldn’t be telling them the price. This is quite personal information that like I mentioned above I wouldn’t even want know.

In regards to friends I think you can ask them to accompany you when picking out the ring just to maybe get a second opinion but never about the price. Individuals watch their friends propose and believe they need to buy a ring of a similar price or look but it is not a competition and not everyone has the same budget,don’t leave yourself out of pocket trying to impress others. 

The only person you should want to impress is your soon to be fiancé who will actually be wearing the ring and be starting a future with you.

To conclude, an engagement is more than just the financial element. You can spend a large amount on a ring and your partner may not even like it because it’s simply not their style. You need to listen to the types of ring your partner describes when your conversing. Look at the style of ring they show you when you’re out and about and use those details to ensure the ring is perfect and not the price.

Never allow outside influence to pressure you into spending more that you are capable of on the ring, because the only person that will be in financial strain is yourself.

Thanks for reading, I would love to know your views on this topic? 

How long is too long to wait between engagement and marriage?

Let’s face it, a lot of females in particular picture their wedding day from a very young age. We sometimes put scrap books together or even find ourselves screen shotting images of ideas that can be in the future incorporated into our big day when it finally comes around. So when that engagement finally comes, just how long will it be till you actually get to walk down the aisle?

Society has formed its idea of the average length of an engagement, which is 14.5 months as the 2015 Real wedding study suggest. Although reports such as this and other social influences should not have any significance on engaged couples it definitely does. Societies image of what a wedding should look like and the cost of it also plays a part in how long a couple is engaged as they spend years trying to save and even end up in debt trying to afford a wedding that is way above their means.

Whilst many women are okay with the idea of a long engagement others aren’t, a large majority want to set a date from the jump and begin with the planning process. However this varies from person to person as a prolonged engagement could be due to various reasons such as:

Finances

One of the factors that could lead to a prolonged engagement is the financial element. One could argue that if you and your partner want a short engagement you should be in a financial position to get married almost immediately. Weddings are not usually cheap, well depending on how big the wedding is. There is also the cost of the honey moon to think about and living arrangements. Should a couple wait till their finances are in tact before they get engaged?

I am sure a fair amount of people would answer no, as they believe that an individuals finances shouldn’t be a barrier that stops them from proposing. If someone feels they are ready to show their commitment by buying the engagement ring in the first instance it is not a problem. The actual funds for the wedding itself does not need to be available in order for a proposal to take place. If everyone waited till they had the full cost of the wedding before asking for someone’s hand it would never happen.

Age

Age is definitely a contributing factor to how long an individual may want to be engaged. A younger couple for instance  may want to get engaged to show commitment to one and other but might not be necessarily ready to get married as they feel they still have a lot to achieve both education wise and financially. Whereas a more mature individual may not want to be engaged for as long as they feel they dont want to waste time and basically want to get it over and done with. An older person may also not see finances as a barrier as they are more likely to go for a smaller wedding in comparison to that of a younger person might. (This is what I have noticed from watching older people around me, not all!)

Child bearing years 

A woman’s biological clock does not tick forever lets be honest, so an older woman for example who wants to be married before having children due to religion or preference may want a shorter engagement so she can begin extending her family.

The engagement ring could have been a shut up ring

Although there are genuine reasons why an engagement may be prolonged, many have formed the concept of the shut up ring, which in short is an engagement ring that is solely given with the intentions of shutting an individual up.If you have reached a stage in your relationship where you are ready for the next stage of commitment but your partner may not be, and you find yourself constantly nagging, you may think you have hit the jackpot when you get the engagement ring, but have you? or is it a shut up ring. Which will ultimately result in you walking down the aisle a very long time down the line. Lets hope not.

My personal opinion

Personally im one of those females that have a wedding album saved in my phone with possible dress ideas and colour schemes the lot, so I am halfway with the planning already and I am not even engaged, crazy right? Not really because I know im not alone with this. The marriage itself is so exciting but the engagement is also a major part which I want to enjoy and celebrate, so I dont want it to be over too quickly. On the other hand I dont want an engagement that last so long people forget it even happened.

As a preference I would want to be engaged for a year to 2 years maximum. Although this is how I envisioned it, if my engagement lasted longer than this time it wouldn’t be the end of the world, saying that anything over three years is a no no. The engagement will probably be used for planning the big day itself in regards to booking a venue which sometimes requires advance booking. However more importantly the engagement period will be used to save.

To be honest to save for a wedding is likely to take longer than 2 years as getting married is more than just the day itself, life after marriage also has to be part of the plans. A good idea is to have savings before an engagement even happens, an account where you simply put money away for the future. This means when the engagement does come you wont be starting from 0. 

It’s really difficult to conclude what too long to  be engaged is, as everyone’s decision on how long to wait differs and is influenced by different elements. Society does often give the time frame of which they think the wedding should follow after the proposal. However, in reality its down to the two individuals getting married. Is society paying for your wedding? No.You and your partner are im guessing so you make the rules.

I would love to know your views on this topic. How long would you ideally be engaged for, before walking down the aisle?

 

Women would you propose to a Man? Men would you want a woman to propose to you?

I know I know it’s the 21st century, what may not have been the norm a few years ago is now the norm. However in regards to a woman proposing to a man my views are very much old school/traditional let’s say and I am sure I am not alone.

Let me be honest, I give absolute props and admiration to women that propose to men, because I certainly wouldn’t have the balls to do so. This shows so many attributes, confidence being one of the ones that stand out, which I would commend her for. It also shows us that she will go for what she wants despite what society makes us believe is to be expected and the stereotypes that exist.

The media definitely plays a significant role in shaping our views on this topic. We are constantly shown images and videos of a man proposing to a woman. Engagement rings that are constantly advertised are very gender specific and aimed for women. Of course a woman proposing to a man does not occur as frequently as a man proposing to a woman. However it does happen and scenarios such as this should be portrayed.

Personally I cannot picture myself taking the steps to propose to my man, of course I can never say never but it’s very very unlikely I should say. I have imagined and pictured from a young age how amazing a proposal would be and it has never involved me being the one that’s asking for a partners hand in marriage. 

 As women the majority of us strive for equality and rightly so, but I do believe in some aspects of life there are some roles a man should take and some a woman should take. For me I would like my man to initiate this and take the lead in this aspect of moving our relationship forward.

This is just my personal opinion and preference; however I am a strong believer that as individuals we should do what we want to do regardless of what is considered to be the right way. Who decides what is the right way anyway? The answer is it comes down to you, the final decision lies in your hands. Don’t base your actions on the opinions of others, if you want to make your boyfriend your fiancé then go for it.

I am a woman so I cannot put myself in a man shoes, so I teamed up with my fellow relationship blogger friend Josh for this one so I could get a male perspective on this topic .

Josh’s view

When Tin told me about this topic, my immediate question was – Why would you as a woman even feel the need to propose to your man?

I get the man and women are equals and if can man can propose, the woman should be able to do the same if she wants. That being said, being equal doesn’t mean we are the same.

One of the differences is our ego. We men have a special relationship with our ego and a lot of time we make decisions based on how it stimulates our ego. I’m not saying you cannot or should not propose to your man, but you saying yes to us would do more for our ego, which affects how we see and appreciate you than us saying yes to you.

Also we are leaders by nature and like to take control as well as influence. I’m yet to meet a man that would like to get married but he’s waiting for his woman to propose first. if a man wants to marry you, he would ask you and if we are not asking, it’s normally for at least one of 3 reasons:

– We do not want to marry you (or anybody else)

– We are not yet sure if being married to you would be good for us

– We are not yet ready to get married because we cannot guarantee that level of commitment or we’re still chasing other things.

So why would you even want to propose to someone that’s not in a state to get married to you?

I have found that some women just want to believe what’s in their head, regardless of what’s staring them in the face. No MAN is too shy or scared to ask for what he really wants, so don’t feel the need to take the initiative on our behalf. Also if you are going to take the lead, you have taken what makes us feel like men, so don’t be surprised when you end up with a boy, and you have to take the lead on everything – money, bills, kids, school etc.

I can imagine how frustrating it can be for a woman waiting on her partner whilst factoring age and her close friends getting married. However if we have a good thing, I’d rather her ask me about my intentions than her proposing to me. When I proposed to my wife, that worm I had in my stomach when I asked her parents, bought the ring, getting down on one knee and hearing her say yes was priceless. It felt like I won the lottery and it could not have been the same if she had proposed to me. I probably would have laughed and thought it was a prank.

Thanks so much for reading this post. I would love to know both women and men’s view points on this topic. I would also love to hear from a man that has had a woman propose to him or a woman that has proposed, and if you would be interested in doing a guest post on this topic. Kindly comment below 🙂

Would you sign a prenup

The topic of prenups is one that welcomes many mixed views. Me and Josh both share our perspective on this topic. To kick this post off we should first get a better understanding of what a prenup actually is:

A prenup is a legal contract/agreement that states how both finances and assets will be split between a couple in the unfortunate case of divorce. 
Some people are comfortable with the concept of signing a prenup whilst others will take immediate offence to this and could even flat-out refuse to sign it.

From researching this topic the most common reason as to why people take the idea of a prenup personally is that they believe it shows a lack of trust. They also see this agreement as preparing for the end of the marriage before it has even begun. Others that are for the idea of a prenup see it as just protecting their assets and nothing personal. They don’t see it as taking away from the marriage in any way.

My view

I can understand the argument both for and against signing a prenuptial agreement. On one hand if you trust someone whole heartedly and believe your both in it forever, what is the point of signing it. Others would also switch the argument and say that if you do see it as forever what is the harm in signing it, after all it will never come into play if we don’t  break up.

I am not married neither about to enter marriage but as of now I find myself leaning more towards not having to sign a prenup/having my partner sign one. The idea of having to sign an agreement pointing out what will occur if our relationship ends before saying ‘ I DO” just simply doesn’t appeal to me. It just seems like a negative way to begin a relationship.

I have always grown up with the concept of  when you enter marriage”whats yours is mine and whats mine is yours” and personally I believe a prenup dismisses this to a degree. We are becoming one after all, is that not the concept of marriage? 

Moreover, I like to look at both sides of an argument and when writing this post I was able to understand the mindset behind some wanting to have this agreement in place. If you are fully financially established before entering the relationship does your other half deserve half of that money which they didn’t work for or contribute towards in any way in the case of a break up? Probably not, unless kids are involved or the other party commited adultery.  A fair scenario would consist of the money accumulated by both of you whilst in the relationship and the marriage to be shared between you both equally if a divorce occurs. However, without a legal contract(a prenup) in place would this be the case.

Another reasons why a person may want to have a prenup in place is due to them believing a person could be marrying them solely due to their financial status or what they can gain from the marriage(gold digger). However if in any sort of doubt or worry should you be marrying that person to begin with? Probably not!

You should know your partner in and out before a decision about getting married is made and finances should have definitely been discussed by this point . 

We are all going to have a different opinion on subjects such as this. If you and your partner find yourselves in disagreement over the topic of prenups I think its important to respect one and others decision and ensure both view points are heard and understood.

It is a touchy subject so if a person is apprehensive and upset about the idea of signing a prenup initially let them warm to the idea. Ensure you are honest and let them know the reasons you believe a prenup is the right way to enter the marriage.

Moreover if someone is against signing a prenup you should also take their opinions into consideration. The reasons why they are against prenups may allow you to view the subject in a different light.

Josh’s view joshlovetalk.com

Personally I do not agree with prenup as I feel it is a threat to making successful marriage happen.

With divorce becoming increasingly popular, I understand that people feel the need to secure their finances, however I feel that mentality makes it difficult for marriage to thrive. It’s basically walking into a union designed to be eternal with a transient mind set. Marriage as lovely as it can be, comes with its challenges and going into it half-heartedly would most likely result into the marriage failing. 

For me, asking for prenup is not just a question of trust but also a question of how much value you feel the other person can add to you. So if you are unsure of your partner’s worth and value, should you be getting married to them?

If myself and my partner worked hard together to build some fortune but the marriage ends up in divorce, she’s definitely entitled to half because we worked for it together. On the flipside, if I was already made (financially successful), I would love to think I would be wise enough to marry someone that’s financial compatible or at least has enough about her to add value or complement what I already have going on. When you are in a strong financial position, you attract all sorts and it would be near impossible to tell who loves you for you or who loves you for what you can offer them. If you are not fortunate to have someone that’s been with you from the start, then it is important to use the dating period to better understand the person you’re with and the values they possess that would complement or add to what I already have going on.

The values do not always have to be money oriented; basically if your physical qualities were taken out of the picture, what else are you bringing to the table that can make your partners life better? 

If someone was to ask me for prenup, I will walk away from that relationship because I would not want to be with someone that feel I cannot add any value to them. 

Thanks for reading, We would love to know your view on this. Are you for or against a prenup?