If i am putting on loads of weight, i want my partner to tell me….what about you??

​​I have been seeing a lot of debates lately on the topic of ones other half being afraid to tell them if they feel they are putting on weight. The most popular reason for this being the fear that their partner will take it in the wrong way, therefore this topic is often perceived as some what of a taboo subject. 

Some would rather their partner just tell them how good they look regardless of weight gain and how much they adore them whilst others would like to hear the truth…which would you prefer?

Okay, so hearing the words “babe you have put on weight” is not the most exciting thing to hear. Reality is the majority of us myself included would take it negatively and not constructively. This is where the term “it’s notthe what you say it its how you say it” comes in to play.

If you are genuinely concerned about your partners weight you need to approach the topic sensitively and politely. Ensure you let them know you love them and are still attracted to them, because they need to know this. At this stage paranoia may start to kick in and all sorts of thoughts may be going through their brains like does he/she still want me, this is time to reassure them.

Let them know that you are just thinking of theirbest interest and are willing to both encourage and join them in any necessary steps to loseweight or live a healthier lifestyle. Wether it be joining the gym together or cooking healthier meals together.

 Moreover you need to always bear in mind that as much as you try tomotivate them, you should not pressure or force your view on them. They need to want to lose weight and ultimately the motivation can only come from them.

Personally I would like my other half to tell me straight if I am piling on the pounds and I woulddefinitely tell him if I thought the same in regards to his weight. I as an individual would rather someone who loves and cares about me brings it to my attention of course in a caringway.

If I am putting on weight I definitely know it,but have probably put it off. However hearing it from someone so close,may be the kick in thebutt I need. I for one and I am sure I am not alone spend so much time asking my boyfriend, “babe have I put on weight?” So should I ever besurprised if I hear the words YES, if I genuinely have put on weight, or should he lie to me and spare my feelings. 

I go with honesty. Don’t get me wrong the words YES might, well definitelymake me feel s*** but at least I know he kept it real with me.

Just like everything there is a way to address an issue such as this. There is a nice and concerned way to tell your partner “babe I think you’re putting on a bit of weight, and I just wanted to be honest with you” and then there’sa very insensitive way to address it such as  making jibes at his/her weight gain during an argument, that just aint cool.

To close as long as you know your partner is not saying it in a malicious way it should not cause lasting issues in the relationship.That is not to say that you wont be upset hearing the words, but maybe try to think past the negative and think of the positive. What I do strongly believe is that you should never mock or use it as low blow during a disagreement as that is when it will become a very big issue. 

If you love someone you would not use something such as there weight as something to use against them you will instead support them and help them in any way they need to be helped, be their support system and always remember honesty is the best policy!!

Thanks for reading, I would love to know your views on this topic…comment below

3months till goal weight! Unrealistic or doable?

So i havent stepped foot in the gym since April, for no reason other than i became lazy and could not be bothered quite frankly. I am a person that believes in order to go the gym i need to be fully focused and motivated and i was neither of the two so i decided at the time to terminate my membership.

However its a new year, i have decided to restart my membership and smash some of my personal fitness goals. My birthday is in April which is 3 months away, sounds so near  and maybe unrealistic but thats when i plan to reach my goal body. 

So i am quite happy with my body, but just like most people i have flaws that i would like to work on and tone.i would like to tighten up my stomach and other areas. My main problem area is fat around my hips/sides/waist or as some like to refer to is as “love handles”. They are not extreme but could definetly do with some attention. I also want to get my body fat down to what it was early last year ,which was 20%-22%. As of now its 32.5%.

Current weight, bmi,bodyfat and body fat mass pictured just below.

Goal

  • To turn fat into muscle
  • slim down my waist and hips
  • Get body fat down to 20-25%
  • I am not trying to loose weight simply tone and build muscle…so my goal weight is 11 stones…of course of muscle and  not fat)
  • Tone glutes

water

In the last couple of months its been juice or fizzy drinks which i plan to now cut out. I plan to drink strictly water or smoothies for the next three months. of course if its a special occasion i may have a cheeky alcoholic beverage or two lol.

smoothies

I am so excited to start drinking smoothies mainly because i can pick and choose exactly what goes inside it. I happened to walk into Wilko also known as wilkinsons and found this blender at a bargain price of £10.i love the colour and the fact it comes with two drinking bottles.

Classes

I plan to incorperate a different fitness class a week into my routine. I plan to switch it up so i may try an aerobics class one week and a legs,bums and tums the next. I will do this simply so i enjoy the process and at the same time get to try something new.

Junk food

I eat way to much junk food mainly crisp and sugary sweets. I am totally in love with the bubblegum flavoured cola bottles, once i eat one all self contol goes out the window. During these 3 months i will eat limited snacks by this i mean criso or buscuits twice a week. I plan to cut sweets out xompletly during this time.

Take aways

okay everyone who knows me knows i love a cheeky nandos lol and i definetly dont think i can go without it for 3months and i have know intentions of doing so neither. However i do plan to cut down on take aways and limit them to social nights with friends/family/date nights with other half. I will not order food when i am feeling lazy to cook insted i will a cook a high protein, low carb dinner.

I am doing this strictly for me !! I will post progress pictures at the end of every month.

(Guest post i done for The90sbaby show) Should your  other half post you on social media??

​Should your partner post you on social media? 

Do you care whether your other half posts you on social media or is it really not a big deal to you? Some people love the whole privacy thing whilst others find it suspect that their partner refuses to show them to the world.

Okay so there is two sides to every argument, on one side it’s just social media where you have people following you, most of which you don’t even know in person if were being honest. So maybe just maybe your partner does not want to put you on there for the world to see as it’s simply not their business.

We also have to remember that when people see your relationship on display on sites such as Instagram and Facebook they do tend to start being nosey and trying to get all up in your business. 

If you put your relationship out there, your followers start to feel like their automatically part of it and can start throwing out unwanted opinions. As sad as it sounds social media has ruined relationships in the past.

So is it best to just keep your private life private? We have all heard the saying “A private life is a happy life” right?

On the other hand, not posting your other half could lead to other issues such as your partner believing you don’t want to show them off, which I think relates to self-esteem. 

I think a lot of the reasons behind a person wanting and expecting to be posted has a lot to do with them feeling accepted and it gives them a sort of ego-boost. 

We all want to feel like our partner wants to show us off myself included. So do we really want our partner to post us on social media for the right reasons or is it simply to feed our own insecurities, it’s something we need to think about.

Secondly, avoiding posting your other half could also lead to them believing that you don’t want anyone to know you’re in a relationship and that you want to appear single to the cyber world. This could be far from the truth but is a conclusion that many could form.

The reality is that if followers of your different social media platforms see no trace of your other half, it could lead to them assuming you’re available as that’s what they want to believe. If there is no evidence to suggest otherwise they will run with that assumption, and that’s basically when they start jumping in your DM’s! Hell some thirsty individuals jump in your DM’s when they know you’re taken for crying out loud. 

My opinion is this, I don’t believe I need to post my partner on a regular basis and vice versa but I do believe people should know he exists, so a post here and there at least is reasonable.

We all tend to say things such as its only social media it’s not real life but its apparent daily that these media platforms are becoming more and more part of our reality and people tend to form an image of you based on what you portray on these sites.

Furthermore, I definitely believe that we should not place so much significance on this. I’ve since come to the realization that being posted on social media for the cyber world to know how much my partner loves me and wants to show me off is not my reality. If I know that he loves me and he is proud to have me as a partner why does showing me/us together on social media matter so much.

To conclude, we all have our own views in regards the importance of this topic. If you genuinely have concerns about why your partner does not post you, then a conversation should be had. However it should definitely not be a defining factor in your relationship. 

As I stated above people should know that your partner exist for the simple fact that I feel it leaves room for no unnecessary assumptions. Posting photos continuously and drowning your timeline could appear as attention seeking and like your seeking validation from others, so there should be a balance. However it’s about what works for different relationships, I just don’t believe it’s a make or break situation.

What are your views on this topic? 

Comment below i would love to know

I previously done this post for the 90s baby show make sure you CHECK them out at 90sbabyshow.com

Christmas special(The perfect gift)


Christmas is 2 weeks away and I’m just sitting hear like where the hell did this year go, like seriously?! 

So bearing in mind the festive day is fast approaching I decided to write a blog post in relation to gifts and how to pick the perfect gift for your other half/someone your dating.

Gift giving has become quite a huge aspect of Christmas and one that many put a lot of time and effort into. It also stresses quite a few people out in regards to what to buy a particular person. So I have written a short guide and what to bear in mind when choosing that “perfect gift”

Price

I am sure this sounds cliche and I’m sure you have heard it before but it’s not the price of the gift it’s the thought and effort that counts. I mean you can stretch the boat out a bit I just mean try not to over do it.

Many people save and save even do extra time in order to afford the priciest gift. News flash the person may not even like it. Don’t let price be the driving force when choosing a gift. Maybe even try inexpensive and thoughtful.

Duration of relationship

I’m sure the length of time you have been in a relationship or have been dating someone is a factor when choosing a gift. If you have been with someone for a short time I would say there is no harm in buying them a gift, nothing too big that scares them off though. 
Obviously in a longer relationship you would have established there likes and dislikes which may make it easier when choosing something.

Pay attention

Throughout the relationship you should be able to get a feel for what your other half likes. There sizing and the colours that most appeal to them. You should be able to go into a shop and think wow so and so will like this outfit is up their street. 
This time of the year can show how much attention you have been paying. Of course if this is a short term relationship it may be difficult to know. 

Last minute.com 

This sub title is very much self explanatory do not leave it to the last day to buy a gift. Don’t find yourself having to buy the last toiletry gift set on the pharmacy shelf. I know it’s the thought that counts but some sort of effort needs to be made or maybe just don’t buy a gift at all. There is plenty of days in the year to purchase this gift and the 24th December is not it.

Gift ideas

I was previously going to do a list of recommended gifts for him and her but I chose not to based on the fact that I thought my ideas may be biased and lean towards gifts I think my partner would like.

Only you know your partner and what they like so my list is likely to be of no significance and also defeats the purpose of this post which is to encourage you to put a lot of thought into the gift.

Im sure most of you have already bought your partner a gift and I’m sure it’s fab. If you haven’t yet then get to it 🙂 Remember not to over do it just go for something you know they will both love and appreciate.

Thank you for reading. I would love to know some of gifts you have bought in the past, are planning to buy or have already bought. Comment below please 🙂

(Images from Google)!x

What to wear on a first date

We have all been there , panicking hours before the date even sometimes day ahead  stressing about the perfect outfit to wear.

“I don’t want to look too dressed up” and “I don’t want to look too casual ” are just some of the dilemmas that go through are minds during the deciding stages.

You don’t want to look like you made too much effort but at the same time you want your date to think “damn he/she looks good”.

In my opinion the way one dresses says a lot about there personality/character and sense of style and it’s one of the first things your date will notice. so some sort of effort and planning needs to go into your oufit.

When choosing an oufit ensure you don’t forget your own personal style, you want your date to know and like you for you. By that I mean not wearing sky high heels if it’s  not your thing don’t break your ankles pretending to be someone your not.

I have been with my other half for a long time and regardless of the location we choose to go to wether it’s dressy or casual, I still make sure I remain myself and to be quite frank that’s a person that doesn’t really like to wear heels as I am quite tall already and I just can’t move freely in them.

Of course I still wear heels occasionally  but it’s not my most comfortable choice of outfit so I do avoid it when possible and I’ve never made a secret of it.

Location

The location were your date is taking place, plays a huge role when choosing an oufit, if your date is outdoors it’s fair to say heels are not the best option and the same goes for a nice restaurant, trainers may not be an ideal choice.
Always do necessary research on the location you will be going to prior to the date so you know what outfit to go for. You don’t want to arrive somewhere and feel overdressed/underdressed.

Jeans

Jeans are a win win as you can never go wrong with a nice pair. They can be teamed up with almost everything and can turn an outfit from casual to dressy and vice versa. They can be worn on almost every date or any weather conditions.

Labels

You do not need to break the bank for a date and splash out on all the latest designer brands in the hope of impressing your date because chances are they won’t be.

The way I see it is “it’s not about what you wear it’s about how you wear it”. You can wear the most pricey item on the shelves and I can pretty much guarantee you won’t look as good as in an oufit that’s in your budget and your that’s your original style.

To conclude the main thing that matters when choosing what to wear on a date is that your comfortable and feel good in what you are wearing. Confidence is key and it will make almost anything look good on you, so don’t overthink it too much just go for it.

Make sure your personality is reflected through your outfit as it says so much about a person and paints a picture even though you may not think so. Dont underestimate the power of first impressions.

One last tip is to never loose yourself trying to impress others.it will back fire in the long run.

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Thanks so much for reading, I would love to know what oufit you go for depending on the date and also wether you think what one wears is a big deal. 🙂

My short term Bucket list

bucket-list

I have come across a lot of people’s bucket list and have finally decided to write one of my own. However I have chosen to write a short-term list of things I would like to do by December 2017 instead of a lifetime one which I regularly see.

My list is going to include activities, goals and some countries I would like to visit. I wanted to write an achievable list so I started with 20 things and will first see how I get on with that. I will put a strike through each one as I complete it.

So here goes, p.s ( This is not written in order of what  i want to do first! I just wrote the list as it came to mind)

  1. Learn how to swim
  2. Take my daughter abroad(somewhere in Europe)
  3. Go on holiday to Dubai
  4. Start a vlog/ you tube channel
  5. Skydive
  6. Pass my driving test(i have had a few attempts)
  7. Buy a high quality camera
  8. Sing at karaoke whilst sober
  9. Attend a Dim sum cooking class
  10. Speak publicly at an event
  11. Jet ski
  12. Get a job in a media related company
  13. Go down the UK’s biggest slide in Stratford Olympic park(Arcelormittal Orbit)
  14. Drink 3 liters of water a day
  15. Guest post on someone’s blog
  16. Attend a blogging event where i can network
  17. Organise an event
  18. post a blog at minimum once a week
  19. Try a vegan restaurant
  20. Water jet-pack flying experience

I have every intention to cross it all off and share my journey with you on here. Wish me luck 🙂

What goals are on your bucket list? I would love to know! Comment below.

 

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First date? Where to go!

When planning a first date most people like to settle for the quite obvious options which are commonly cinema or dinner. These are not terrible first date ideas there simply just playing it a bit too safe in my opinion.

I wrote this post specifically to tell you to think outside the box. On a first date you want to give someone a memorable experience, a good first impression not something everyone else does. You want to show the person of interest that you’re different from the average, the aim is to stand out.

A good first date should leave room for communication and also plenty of laughter and banter as the point of a first date is to get to know each other right? At the cinema that can’t really be achieved.( A few dates down the line yes but not the first.)
Another factor that plays a role in the planning of a date is finances, to be honest this shouldn’t be an issue when planning a date. It sounds cliché but it is not the money you put in, it’s the thought.

Individuals spend so much time focusing on how much they spend in the hope to impress the other person but an actual fact is they just want a good date. The company is the most important aspect.
Below I have written 5 great date ideas that you should consider giving a go.
Picnic

A picnic is such a nice idea especially on a lovely day, of course during the winter it’s a no no. To make the date event better choosing a location with a view is perfect and one your date won’t forget in a hurry. Picture it, nice food and drinks, great company and a beautiful setting. Who can complain.

Comedy show

A comedy show is an ideal date if you want to have an evening full of laughter. However before choosing a comedy show to take your date to make sure you research the kind of content the comedians talk about to ensure it matches your dates sense of humour. You don’t want your date to leave feeling offended.

Theme park

This is an option for and outdoorsy person. Someone who loves rides and is a bit of a thrill seeker. A date like this is fun and exciting, it may even end in the holding of hands or cuddling up if someone is scared on a ride lol. Another plus is you don’t have to stress about what to wear as a theme park means you can dress casually.

A class

There are so many classes you can try on a first date such as a cooking class or a cocktail making class. This is a good idea for a date as it lightens the mood and leaves plenty of room for conversation and bonding throughout. Classes are also very affordable with deals on sites such as wowcher or Groupon.

Bowling

Bowling is a cheap and cheerful option that leaves room for friendly banter and light hearted competition. It’s an activity that doesn’t involve taking yourself too seriously unless you are the over competitive type that is. Most bowling alleys have a bar attached to it which means you can converse over a drink and just basically enjoy the rest of the night.

These are just some ideas that came to mind, people need to stop limiting themselves to the same old and instead come outside of their comfort zones, I’m sure it will be worth it.
I would love to know your first date ideas! We’re have you been taken on a first date/ where have you taken someone? Comment below 🙂