The topic of prenups is one that welcomes many mixed views. Me and Josh both share our perspective on this topic. To kick this post off we should first get a better understanding of what a prenup actually is:
A prenup is a legal contract/agreement that states how both finances and assets will be split between a couple in the unfortunate case of divorce.
Some people are comfortable with the concept of signing a prenup whilst others will take immediate offence to this and could even flat-out refuse to sign it.
From researching this topic the most common reason as to why people take the idea of a prenup personally is that they believe it shows a lack of trust. They also see this agreement as preparing for the end of the marriage before it has even begun. Others that are for the idea of a prenup see it as just protecting their assets and nothing personal. They don’t see it as taking away from the marriage in any way.
I can understand the argument both for and against signing a prenuptial agreement. On one hand if you trust someone whole heartedly and believe your both in it forever, what is the point of signing it. Others would also switch the argument and say that if you do see it as forever what is the harm in signing it, after all it will never come into play if we don’t break up.
I am not married neither about to enter marriage but as of now I find myself leaning more towards not having to sign a prenup/having my partner sign one. The idea of having to sign an agreement pointing out what will occur if our relationship ends before saying ‘ I DO” just simply doesn’t appeal to me. It just seems like a negative way to begin a relationship.
I have always grown up with the concept of when you enter marriage”whats yours is mine and whats mine is yours” and personally I believe a prenup dismisses this to a degree. We are becoming one after all, is that not the concept of marriage?
Moreover, I like to look at both sides of an argument and when writing this post I was able to understand the mindset behind some wanting to have this agreement in place. If you are fully financially established before entering the relationship does your other half deserve half of that money which they didn’t work for or contribute towards in any way in the case of a break up? Probably not, unless kids are involved or the other party commited adultery. A fair scenario would consist of the money accumulated by both of you whilst in the relationship and the marriage to be shared between you both equally if a divorce occurs. However, without a legal contract(a prenup) in place would this be the case.
Another reasons why a person may want to have a prenup in place is due to them believing a person could be marrying them solely due to their financial status or what they can gain from the marriage(gold digger). However if in any sort of doubt or worry should you be marrying that person to begin with? Probably not!
You should know your partner in and out before a decision about getting married is made and finances should have definitely been discussed by this point .
We are all going to have a different opinion on subjects such as this. If you and your partner find yourselves in disagreement over the topic of prenups I think its important to respect one and others decision and ensure both view points are heard and understood.
It is a touchy subject so if a person is apprehensive and upset about the idea of signing a prenup initially let them warm to the idea. Ensure you are honest and let them know the reasons you believe a prenup is the right way to enter the marriage.
Moreover if someone is against signing a prenup you should also take their opinions into consideration. The reasons why they are against prenups may allow you to view the subject in a different light.
Josh’s view joshlovetalk.com
Personally I do not agree with prenup as I feel it is a threat to making successful marriage happen.
With divorce becoming increasingly popular, I understand that people feel the need to secure their finances, however I feel that mentality makes it difficult for marriage to thrive. It’s basically walking into a union designed to be eternal with a transient mind set. Marriage as lovely as it can be, comes with its challenges and going into it half-heartedly would most likely result into the marriage failing.
For me, asking for prenup is not just a question of trust but also a question of how much value you feel the other person can add to you. So if you are unsure of your partner’s worth and value, should you be getting married to them?
If myself and my partner worked hard together to build some fortune but the marriage ends up in divorce, she’s definitely entitled to half because we worked for it together. On the flipside, if I was already made (financially successful), I would love to think I would be wise enough to marry someone that’s financial compatible or at least has enough about her to add value or complement what I already have going on. When you are in a strong financial position, you attract all sorts and it would be near impossible to tell who loves you for you or who loves you for what you can offer them. If you are not fortunate to have someone that’s been with you from the start, then it is important to use the dating period to better understand the person you’re with and the values they possess that would complement or add to what I already have going on.
The values do not always have to be money oriented; basically if your physical qualities were taken out of the picture, what else are you bringing to the table that can make your partners life better?
If someone was to ask me for prenup, I will walk away from that relationship because I would not want to be with someone that feel I cannot add any value to them.
Thanks for reading, We would love to know your view on this. Are you for or against a prenup?