Why do people forget about friends when in a relationship?

Why is it that some people forget all about their friend/friends when in a relationship?

Don’t get me wrong of course when you get into a relationship dynamics change. You may not see friends as much or talk to them on the phone as often. However some individuals act like their friends do not exist.

This is how I see it, in the early stages of a relationship it’s understandable that socializing with friends may not be as frequent, and conversations on the phone may be limited. Hell I’ve been guilty of that. We call this the “HONEY MOON PERIOD”. This is where we spend hours on the phone to this particular love interest or we find ourselves wanting to spend as much time as possible with them trying to get to know them better. Most friends are aware of this particular stage in the relationship and respect the fact that you are putting your time into this.

Moreover there comes a point when friends won’t be as understanding. Especially if this becomes a long term scenario where you are constantly blowing them off and ignoring phone calls. This can escalate into a bigger issue that results in friends believing/assuming you do not value their friendship or they are only good when you are not in a relationship.

remember me

Some of these friends were probably around before your partner even came on the scene. Friends are also a support system and will be the ones there for you if a problem occurred in your relationship. You can’t abandon a friend and then all of sudden come running back to them if things unfortunately fall apart, that’s called using at least thatโ€™s what it is perceived as.

Furthermore, individuals need to understand that their partner doesn’t want to spend 24/7 with them, they may not say it but they are probably thinking it. (Unless there control freaks that is). They want you to have a social life outside of them, just like they would like to spend time with their personal friends without you at times. You may also eventually share mutual friends but that shouldn’t be at the expense of your own friends. If you and your partner was to end the friends you met through them are likely to choose sides.

To conclude one should always remember to find a balance like most things in life. As we grow up its inevitable that we will be in serious relationships which will mean we spend most of our time with our partners. However we should never forget about our friendships and ensure we make the necessary efforts to maintain them. “It’s not about having time it’s about making time”. On the other hand always also bare in mind that when some individuals get into a relationship they are so blinded by love that they may not even realize that they are making no time for friends. Address them appropriately and express how you feel, if they do not change after that then it’s up to you to decide wherever you can still continue that particular friendship.

I would love to know your views on this topic, please comment below.

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34 thoughts on “Why do people forget about friends when in a relationship?

  1. Lady from Manila says:

    It’s a natural inclination of girls to focus on and put their romantic relationship ahead of others. Whereas men normally have other bland things that keep them preoccupied, women’s existence revolve primarily on matters of the heart. And that makes us kind of more special, I believe. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Like

  2. michaeljfite says:

    I think that friends do have a place but when it comes to their place in a romantic relationship, they need to step aside and let you find Mr or Mrs Right. Friends can be helpful and harmful with advice, so it is up to the person to find out which advice works. It comes back to the person actually determining the roles for their friends so that they are where they need to be. It also helps to tell them their role so that they do not cross lines into your romance life.

    This a very good and thoughful post TinzRant! Keep bloggin’!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. miss_boansi says:

    Great post. I agree. Some people really do forget that their friends exist when they enter a relationship. I believe that although naturally you may end up spending more time with your partner, we all MAKE TIME for people we truly care about. If you truly care about your friends, you will make time for them even if it’s just a quick phone call or chit chat at a coffee shop.

    I sincerely believe that it is unhealthy to spend EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY WITH YOUR PARTNER. I for sure would appreciate a guy that had a life outside our relationship!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Eliza says:

    I think I may have been a bit guilty of “forgetting” about my friends when I first started dating, too. It wasn’t extreme to the point that I’d ignore their messages, but we just didn’t speak as much. Luckily they are my true friends so even a bit of distance didn’t really affect how much we loved each other. When I look back and realise how I was so focused on my ex, I realise I should have been in touch with my friends more. So that is something I learnt from the experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    • TinzRant says:

      Thanks so much for sharing your personal experience. We do sometimes unconsciously spend less time with friends when in relationship as long as we still are able to keep in touch with friends so there is a balance ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. ellelovesjay says:

    I totally agree that finding a balance is important. I’ve been in relationships (when I was much younger) that I admit, I forgot about my friends for a bit and I didn’t even realize it. My best friend even told me that she stopped inviting me out because she assumed I would be busy with my boyfriend. That hurt me! I didn’t realize what I was doing until that point. So I totally agree that a balance is needed. Friends are important in one’s life just as a partner is! It’s perfect when both my friends and my boyfriend’s friends can all hang out together with us. But a girl needs some girl time with girlfriends! I’d drive myself crazy in my current relationship if I didn’t have friends to spend time with, without my boyfriend, occasionally lol. I enjoyed reading ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  6. eshinalidoreen says:

    This has happened to me. I decided to leave my girl best friend because of my boyfriend.. He kept his friends but he told me not to hang with my friends. It was a bad choice but you know you cannot argue with the heart

    Liked by 1 person

    • TinzRant says:

      Thanks so much for sharing your experience on this. We are sometimes blinded by love and do what we think is right at the time. Atleast there experiences we can learn from.

      Like

  7. amileinmyshoes says:

    Interesting topic. I think that the honeymoon period is lovely and when I was younger I did always see friends for Friday “lassies night” (Scottish for girls night), even when sometimes I didn’t want to. They all then got boyfriends and guess what? I never saw them! I think that, now as a 41 year old, I’m realising all the more just how important friends are. Luckily I’ve lots of groups of friends and can share stuff with them that I wouldn’t with my husband. Friends are vey important for a rounded life I feel ๐Ÿ™‚ Nice topic to generate thought.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Buki Alamu says:

    Hmm. For a moment there, I thought I fall into the guilty catergory but I ws quick to realize it’s not about my relationship status. I’m just a loner and I’m glad I have friends who understand and appreciate me for who I am. That’s why for me, I’m better with old friends who know me well than trying to make impressions with new friends.

    However, I can see how people can easily forget everything, almost even loosing themselves when they get into a blinding relationship. I must have written something in these lines in my article https://itsallbuki.com/2016/05/11/dealing-with-domestic-violence/

    It’s important to give yourselves space in a relationship so you dont get into each other’s faces all the time. And trust me, hanging out with friends is even more fun than binding yourself to a relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. mz4rlcg says:

    I’ve seen this many times. I think a person has to know who is really a friend and who claim to be. Sometimes those so called friends are trying to get what you have. Never let go of a friendship because of a significant other but there still must be boundaries. Those who are oblivious of their friends are normally the ones crying on their friends shoulders in the end.

    Liked by 1 person

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