Cheaters

The word cheating in its self makes many peoples blood boil let alone the physical aspect of it. I’ve never really understood the logic behind cheating especially when you’re no longer a teenager. If a person decides they no longer want to be faithful/monogamous just leave the relationship but NO selfishness makes them want to have their cake and eat it too. Men are often stereotypically said to be the ones who cheat more commonly, however, both genders cheat so it cannot be put on one sex.

Cheating Versus Faithful

Everyone’s relationship and what they perceive as cheating differs. So both people in the relationship need to first agree what constitutes cheating. For me personally any type of physical/sexual contact that goes further than a hug means a boundary has been crossed. Cheating does not have to be only physical. Inappropriate verbal interaction is also cheating. The way I see it is simple, anything you wouldn’t do in front of your partners eyes is not appropriate because if it was you wouldn’t limit it to only when they are not around.

Cheating should never be excused or justified but upon researching these were two of the reasons I came across quite often as to why people stray:

Relationship issues

The most common reason people give for cheating is problems in the relationship. I personally find it to be an excuse that doesn’t wash, we all experience problems in relationships it’s life. If you love your partner you should spend all your energy trying to fix the issues in any way possible. You should not be looking for excitement and comfort elsewhere. If there are genuinely unfixable problems then a break up might be the best option to avoid more hurt.

Alcohol fuelled night

People often associate cheating with being drunk. Although I agree that being intoxicated definitely impairs judgement it can in no way be to blame for an individual’s actions. You have full control over the amount of alcohol you consume and if you are getting to the stage were you engage in cheating due to your alcohol intake then maybe it’s time to quit drinking. A person drinking excessively and cheating is them just attempting to find an excuse for their behaviour rather than owning up to their wrongs. (Jamie Fox song blame it on the alcohol seems to have caused this lol).

Moreover the question of whether you should forgive a cheater is a hard one to answer unless you have been in the situation personally. Many of us say what we would do if it happened to us, but we could do the total opposite if actually faced with it. All I can really say in regards to cheating is the situation should be accessed accordingly. Some say once a cheat always a cheat. It is up you as an individual to decide whether you genuinely believe it’s something that won’t occur again. One thing I would say is if you do decide to forgive a cheating partner avoid constantly bringing it up. If you have chosen to forgive someone leave the past in the past.(im sure its harder said than done)

To conclude one should not cheat on their other half regardless of the issues in the relationship. People often blame their infidelity on reasons such as that, but it is really just a cop out that is not acceptable. If you genuinely cannot refrain from extracurricular activity outside your relationship get out of it. It is not morally correct and unfair to your other half. Lastly the person being cheated on should never blame themselves for their partners infidelity it is no ones fault but theirs.

I would love to know your views on this topic, have you experienced cheating? If yes what reasons if any did the person come up with?

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27 thoughts on “Cheaters

  1. calexandra says:

    This is a topic that will spark much conversation! I have been “cheated” on twice before (though it was in high school) More recently, I watched one of my good friends go through this, and I have seen multiple marriages struggle and end because of this. Cheating is never ok, like you said, it doesn’t matter how unhappy you are… End the relationship if you are not happy, do not resort to cheating!
    Thankfully, I have found someone whom I can trust wholeheartedly!
    Nice post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lzht says:

    Hi TinzRant,

    This article of yours is very well written and given lots of couples lots of insights. In my opinion it actually helps or allow your partner to know where your boundary when it comes to the opposite sex.

    In my experience, my partner “cheated”. He was very physically intimate to his good friend who happened to be a girl. He was hugging her from the back and kissing her on the cheek. They were even posing it for a photo. He did it while he was together with me. However, i’ve only found that photo March 2016, when that picture was taken in 2013. He gave me the reason: I did not do anything like that after that have I?

    That answer he gave me, was is actually telling me that he sees no problem in the actions he has done. Even though that photo dated at least 2.5 years back, but that picture taught me that ex partner was very flirty and a sign of not being committed. That picture actually broke my trust for him and was one of the reasons why we have split. Besides, I know he flirts with other girls outside when I’m not around.

    So yes, I do agree that there needs draw a very clear boundary between what you and your partner can tolerate. Personally, I believe that how you would like to be treated is a benchmark to how you should treat others too.

    Hope to read more insightful post of yours!

    Liked by 1 person

    • TinzRant says:

      Thank you so much for sharing your experience is much appreciated. I love reading other people’s perspective on the topic. I agree with you completely in regards to treating others how you would like to be treated. 🙂 🙂

      Like

  3. Moominpaige says:

    Great post! A guy I went out with cheated on me with someone from his college and thought he’d got away with it until I found the texts on his phone declaring his love for another girl. Let’s just say it ended badly for him. 😘

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lady from Manila says:

    Both men and women have the tendency to stray although you were perfectly right in saying it’s the men who usually cheat more. Nobody will like what I have to say but based on my experience and observation, the popular joke “If anyone asks for a faithful man, I’ll show them a dead body” is true. Although there are two things that make a man loyal to his partner, religion (fear of God) and the man ending up with his soulmate. So there’s hope after all. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. darlasue22 says:

    Good stuff! And your blog is so beautiful. I was cheated on and left. I would have forgiven to keep the marriage together, but he chose her. Painful beyond words, but I realize now, his lack of love for me freed me up to be truly loved in my life. I Thank God for that.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. V.J. says:

    My former husband cheated on me for many years before I found out. When my next serious relationship ended the same way, I decided to go back to the first and find out if the problem was mine. I asked him: “What is it about me that makes men cheat.” His response: “It’s not about you; it’s about them. You are a ray of sunshine; your problem is that you don’t pick men who can appreciate that about you.” Pass it on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • TinzRant says:

      sorry to hear that a happened to you, but thank you so much for stopping by and sharing you experience on this. I am happy he reassured you that it wasn’t your fault because it certainly wasn’t. Hope you stop by again soon 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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