Should your friends have a say in your relationship

 

Everyone has that friend/friends they confide in when issues arise in their relationship. It’s a person you vent to and also get their perspective on the issue at hand, but could that cause further problems?

So here is my view on this topic, I believe that it is impossible not to talk about particular issues that occur in your relationship with close friends. Should we allow them to make or influence decisions for us, absolutely not. For me personally when I go to a friend, It is often to see if I’m over reacting in a situation, or to get an honest opinion on who they believe is in the wrong.

Although we choose to share with friends it is important that we bare in mind that their opinions could sometimes be unintentionally biased and swayed in our favour as they are our friends. One should also refrain from telling them about every single argument you have with a partner.Discussing all disagreements with them could result in them seeing your partner in a negative light.

Moreover we should also never dictate to our friends what to do in their relationships. From my personal experience if a friend comes to me with a problem, I attempt to see both sides to the story. For instance helping them to understand where their partner could be coming from, and cautiously and truthfully where I think their partner went wrong in the situation.

However I always emphasise that everyone including myself will have a view, but ultimately its their life and therefore my opinions are quite irrelevant and only theirs matters.

So where does the line get drawn? what should definitely not be up for discussions within friends in regards to your relationship? The two things I certainly won’t discuss about my relationship is anything my partner has entrusted to me and major intimate details.

A secret or any information said in private means your partner trusts you, the minute you tell a friend, you have broken that trust. In relation to intimate details, yes you and friends may want to seek advice from one another . However by no means does that suggest you should make reference to super intimate moments between you and your other half, know where to draw the line.

I would love to know your views on this topic, please comment below 🙂

 

 

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41 thoughts on “Should your friends have a say in your relationship

  1. Nikhil says:

    It is quite insightful. And we’ll crafted too. Since these things can seem like preaching too.
    So, kudos to you.
    I too think a friend should have only a limited access to the relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. OhImAgranny says:

    Interesting topic. If you have a friend you trust and trust their judgement then the advice they give is great. In my opinion though stay on the outside don’t get too involved lest you get burnt when things work out.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Cameron D Hamilton says:

    Thanks for liking my post ‘Tomorrow’. I’ve really liked reading through your posts. I love the analysis of love. You pose some great questions. Keep up the great stuff!! This in particular is a great subject. Friends will always be the angels and devils we need to push us through life but there must be a line especially with love.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. stephnynnie says:

    Funny… cause I tried to help a couple friends of mine who came to me… but in the end I ended up being in the middle and it blew up in my face when I NEVER took a party. Let’s just say it’s easy for people to get paranoid when things don’t go well… and as the friend you might take the hit. I never was in a relationship… but make sure that you listen to your friend if you go to them… otherwise just don’t. When you try to help and it still bites you in the ass… it’s annoying as a friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. wittymummy says:

    I absolutely agree with you, while your friend/friends can give you pieces of advice, they should in no way dictate your decisions and actions.

    PS: I had a great time reading through your other posts. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Peaceful Journey says:

    I think this message is important, we do need to know how far to go with friendships in regards to our relationship. I believe certain lines should be drawn. A rule of thumb- I believe if you tell someone something that is a secret, be prepared for the secret to be exposed. So, do not tell someone what you do not want others to know because there is no guarantees the integrity of the secret is kept. By this way, if the secret is told by a friend or someone you care about, your relationship with that person or parties involved is not compromised or in jeopardy. It is almost like the saying, “do not loan money that you plan on receiving back, but expect it back.” The point is, there is risk involved.

    Liked by 1 person

    • TinzRant says:

      Thanks for the comment, we definitely are in a world full of gossip. Individuals have to be extremely cautious when going to particular people with the problems in their relationship

      Liked by 1 person

  7. horptie says:

    This is good! I quite agree there are times advices are needed or how a situation would be interpreted by an entire different body from the usual and this should be done very limited times because it could infer you entertaining a third party to your relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. rhandahinton says:

    I totally agree with alot you said. Telling friends private and intimate info about your relationship is definitely can be dangerous territory depending on who your friends are and what kind of personality you have. Friends have a way of remembering everything you tell them, and it could affect their view of your significant other in ways that could harm your relationship later. Very interesting topic!! Definitely look forward to reading more!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. gislyreal says:

    Everyone is entitled to their opinion which can come as very valid but the decision lies with you. Judge your motive for sharing and be sure to take counsel wisely as sometimes some information gets stored in our mind unconsciously which can later play on us. Talk with someone but be wise

    Liked by 1 person

  10. jzpowell93 says:

    My boyfriend and I have fought about this a lot – and it’s not just friends for me, but family too @_@ I’ve had to learn to keep things just between the two of us in order to preserve the integrity of our bond. I’ve definitely made the mistake of going to people with only the bad things, and having them practically hate my boyfriend, and then I’d be so confused why *eyeroll* now I try to focus a lot on the positive stuff, and consult with others on bad things only if it’s like really important to get a third perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

    • TinzRant says:

      I totally agree with you because we are simply going to vent to these third parties who tend to be friends and families mostly. Although it may be unintentional on our side an opinion gets formed on our partner which then makes it awkward for everyone involved. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, really appreciate it 🙂

      Like

  11. krazoa says:

    I had a very complicated experience in regards to this. It nearly cost me a lot of friendships too.

    My friends were telling me that my relationship wasn’t right for me (this is back in 2010) and I refused to believe them because I felt like I knew what was right and it was my life. In the end after all pressure I got, I decided to end it. Moments before meeting my partner for the first time. It was an online relationship.

    In the end I did meet up with them and it was super awkward. Managed to recover my friendships but that was a very hard time in my life.

    I make my own decisions now but I’ll still listen and respect my friends opinions.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Juliana B says:

    I wrote something before but I think it didn’t post. This is a great piece Tin. You covered so much aspects. This goes for friends and family. Especially what you highlighted in terms of sharing things in confidence within a relationship.

    The only time when I think it is acceptable  to cross that line is when you know their physical, emotional and or mental health is at threat of being compromised or is being so.

    It’s definitely good to give privacy but good to notice potential signs as it could happen to anyone. There’s also a reason why the abuser in most domestic violence cases, tries to isolate their partner from those closest to them.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Buki Alamu says:

    I’m not even done reading this but the song that came to mind as I read through a few lines is “You make me wanna” by Usher. At first, it all seem innocent but really, I dont think it’s wise even though I cant say I’m not entirely not guilty about this. :p

    Liked by 1 person

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