Dating in this era ( Part 1)

In this day and age dating has become a scary prospect with many claiming that they don’t trust another’s intentions. “They’re are all the same” is a phrase I tend to hear way too much in reference to one gender categorizing the other.

We have all had bad experiences and scenarios that occur with the opposite sex but should we then generalize the whole gender as bad? Simple answer is no! It’s a very close minded view to have. In this big wide world not every male or female poses the same attributes as the other. Do not allow one bad situation cloud your judgement and stop you from dating and exploring what could be in the future, and essentially meeting the one.

Dating in this era seems to be harder than it once was, I base this view mainly on what I personally hear and what I seem to see being said on social media platforms from a variety of different people on quite a regular basis. I decided to write a post on some of the issues I feel may arise when dating and how they may be avoided at times.

Let your intentions be known

Okay, so when you meet someone in the first instance you don’t necessarily know if you’re going to marry him or her. However you know what stage you are at in regards to looking for something serious/ something more casual.

I personally believe this should be addressed pretty early on in the “getting to know you stage” as it leaves no room for confusion.

If someone you’re interested in/dating says from the start I am not looking for anything serious, whereas you on the other hand are, its easy to recognise quickly you may not be on the same page. if you therefore make the decision to stay there it’s at your own risk. You cannot be annoyed with the outcome later down the line because you knew what it was and chose to still invest time and energy into it, knowing this person did not want the same as you.

Many individuals often believe they can change someone else’s mind “they don’t think there ready, but I am different, I will change them”. It’s amazing that you believe you can change someone’s view but this can often backfire.

Of course individuals can believe they don’t want to be in a relationship but as time progresses and they spend more time with a particular person they become more open to being in a relationship. Is it however safer to just date someone who states they have the same intentions as you from the start? That is a choice only you can make.

Selling dreams

I genuinely hate the phrase “selling dreams” but it’s pretty self-explanatory and I believe it can also relate to my previous heading on making your intentions clear. Although there are honest people out there, many are not. Selling dreams for those who don’t know, is in short saying one thing to someone but not coming through with it/making a promise that you know full well you cannot keep.

I am sure this has been happening for years but this era is where the term sees to have been coined and really been put into practice. A person engaging with you and allowing you to believe they have intentions of having a future with you simply for personal gain is the reason why so many are left paranoid and questioning what they are being told even if it is in fact genuine .

One can say don’t be gullible but some have mastered the art of lying and convincing. However don’t ignore the warning signs, if an individual repeatedly lies even about minor things take note, because lying makes everything questionable. Dating would be so much easier if you “say what you mean and mean what you say”.

Talking on the phone is okay

In this digital era where means such as whatsapp exist do phone calls even take place any more?

Whatsapp and other social media platforms aid us in being able to be in frequent contact with others but I do believe a phone call as communication is important when in the dating stages. Whatsapp messenger comes with far too many issues, to name a few- “He/ she hasn’t opened my message but they’ve been on-line”. One word answers lead you to believe this persons upset when in actual fact they are probably just busy. A phone call leaves far less room for misinterpretation.

I am not saying phone calls are going to save the dating world but maybe consider having a nice conversation over the phone as opposed to messages packed with emoji’s. I can guarantee most individuals frequently run out of data but have over half their minutes left at the end of each month. I am guilt too, I’m guilty!

Enjoy the moment

Enjoy the process of dating and enjoy the company of whoever it is you’re getting to know.

What brought me to this, is the craze of social media and how I believe it stops us from enjoying aspects of our lives to the full potential. An amazing dinner date somehow always makes it to snap chat /insta story with some of us even showing every course of the meal. The constant posting of the location of the date and what you’re eating and drinking makes it seem like you are going on the date more for the sake of picture purposes and less to get to the know the person your dating.

We need to learn to put our phones down and just enjoy the then and now, it seems that many of us including myself believe if we don’t snap it, it didn’t happen which is ridiculous but true.

We need to go out on dates and simply enjoy one and others company, get to know that person on both a mental and spiritual level and forget about the digital world. I am sure you have heard the saying “the best moments don’t make it to social media”~ Rosalynn Mejia

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I could write so much on this topic but I will post a part two next week. I would love to know your views on the topic of dating and why a lot of individuals seem to have a negative perspective on it.

 

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Self love and relationships

Two months ago I wrote a shortened version of this post for the The Move but decided to add to what I previously wrote and post it on my own site. I really enjoyed writing this particular post as I felt like I could relate to it on a personal level and I found it to be very thought provoking as I was writing it.

Self-love is a word I hear so frequently in today’s society, but the question is are we using the term loosely or actually making an effort to practice this?

On my own personal journey I have found it quite challenging to accept both my strengths and weaknesses, but believe learning how to love every part of myself is one of life’s biggest lessons. Many of us don’t realize the importance of self-love and how it shapes us both in everyday life and in our relationships.

Self-love is often overlooked but it’s the process in which we embrace who we are, imperfections and all. Weaknesses exist but we don’t allow them to decrease our worth in any shape or form.

Self-love is also the foundation in which a successful relationship stems from. When you are secure in yourself and what you have to offer, you are able to give and receive love authentically. We often make the mistake of believing that it is a selfish act, when in actual fact it’s about getting in touch with ourselves and our happiness. Those who appear vain or conceited are perhaps battling their own personal demons and not in fact self-love.

Self-love for me is:

-Allowing my yes to be yes and my no to be no without fear of upsetting others.

-Having morals and not dropping them due to a partner or no one else for that matter.

-Chasing my dreams and ambitions and not abandoning them or sabotaging them

-Accepting that I have flaws but not allowing anyone to make me feel insecure due to them.

-Removing toxic individuals from my life and not being afraid to do so.

-Avoid comparing myself to others as there is no one like me and that is my power so embrace it.

I also believe self-love is an ongoing process that has to constantly be worked on. This can’t be learnt over night but instead is a journey. A journey that you won’t regret, that will do you a world of good both now and in the future.

Why did I relate self-love to relationships? The simplest answer I can give is this, if you have negative thoughts and feelings about yourself they will eventually become part of your relationship. This will usually happen unintentionally but inevitably and will most likely have a bad impact on the relationship.

There are many areas of the relationship that can suffer due to lack of self-love, I will discuss some below.

Believing your partner is too good for you

Lacking in self-love can lead you to think you are punching above your weight in regards to your partner. Believing your partner is out of your league can result in you being insecure. Ideally you should embrace single life and use it is as a time to gain confidence and be secure in what you bring to the table in all aspects.

When in a relationship your partner can constantly attempt to reassure you but in reality there is nothing they can say to make you feel different. You have to think your enough and only you can change your mind set. Insecurity has the potential to take its toll on the relationship in the long run.

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Relying on your partner for happiness

I am sure you have heard of the saying “happiness starts from within” and that is a fact. We all want to be loved and experience the feeling it brings. However a partner is simply there to enhance the happiness that already exist. When we become reliant on another individual for happiness we give that person full control over how we feel. This means that if the relationship ends you will be left distraught and unhappy. We control our happiness, our relationships don’t.

Putting your partner first and yourself second

In some circumstances of course you will have to put your partner first but some find themselves in a place where they constantly put their partner’s needs before theirs whilst constantly ignoring their own.

A relationship is about supporting one and other and it should never be one sided. One person needs and wants shouldn’t be put above the other.

Staying in a relationship out of fear of being alone

Let’s face it a lot of us find ourselves in situations where we want to leave a relationship but find it extremely difficult, especially when in quite long term relationships. We get scared of the prospect of being alone, but is fear doing you more bad than good?

Without a strong sense of self love we will stay in situations such as this, even if the relationship doesn’t satisfy us. Whereas a strong love for ourselves would give us the confidence and courage to leave, simply because we know we will happy alone regardless and are not willing to have our happiness tampered with for the sake of not being lonely.

Personally, I am sure just like most people, we would like to enter a relationship completely in love with ourselves. I can hold my hand up and say that me and a lot of others are not even aware of our lack of self-love until we are actually in a relationship and start to notice particular traits in our behaviour that we can put down to a lack of it.

This can be anything such as agreeing with a partners point even though deep down we disagree with it or allowing things to slide that we shouldn’t necessarily but do anyway. I know we have all come across the quote “The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.” ~Sonya Friedman 

This is a quote that has really stuck with me as I believe far too many of us forget the bar we should set for ourselves. If we set boundaries and standards of behaviour we feel we deserve we will not allow anything other than that to occur or continue.

Self-love is important for a successful relationship as if we lack it, it can have a negative impact on both ourselves and our partner.

A relationship should not define you nor should it be the reason for your happiness.  Whilst in the relationship you will feel a false sense of happiness but if the relationship falls apart you will find yourself in a negative place which is not good for you mentally or physically.

It is essential we make it self-love a priority in all aspects of life. We should try different ways to improve how we feel about ourselves. Two exercises I would definitely recommend is writing attributes which you love about yourself and the reason you love that trait in yourself. I also love the idea of daily affirmations as I believe it can assist in restoring self-confidence. Of course you will not wake up tomorrow in love with every part of yourself but its steps in the right direction. We all need a starting point.

Thanks for reading, I would love to know your views on this topic and also some of the tips you may have in improving how you see yourself and ways to work on self love.

Long distance relationships 

It took me a while to decide what to write this blog post about and I finally decided to go with the topic of long distance relationships. I chose this particular topic as I know someone personally who’s in one and thought I would give my views on this topic having observed it and also from my own perspective.

New age technology and social media have made if far more easy for individuals to connect with one and other,and maintain a relationship through these means regardless of ones location. You are able to not only talk via the phone but also through video calls or messaging services. 

Long distance relationships just like most things in life have both their pros and cons. I will not be able to cover all but will take a look at a few. Starting with the positives:

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

We have all heard the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and this is definitely true. We miss those that are away from us for as little as one week so one can only imagine how heightened it will be over a longer period. Little things such as kissing or even holding hands that some of us take for granted will mean so much. Missing someone makes it more exciting when you finally get to reunite, time becomes more precious.


Traveling

Traveling is always fun especially if it involves you traveling to another country. If that country is hot even better right?. Another bonus is also stacking up on your air miles which will give you great rewards.

There is so much to explore in a place you are not from. Sites to see, activities to get involved in and food to indulge in and this makes a long distance relationship perfect. You can both experience new things together.
Although I have visited the positives there are also barriers that some may describe as negatives.

Time zones 

Time difference can prove to be a problem especially if it’s a big one, which means for instance your night time is your partners morning . A clash in schedule will mean you may be available to talk at a particular time whereas your partner may be working at the same time or vice versa. This will result in a lack of communication. However where there’s a will there’s a way.

Communication issues

Communication is key in any relationship regardless of the distance between you and your partner. However It can become more challenging to communicate effectively when you’re in different parts of the world. Disagreements may not get resolved as quickly as they should as misinterpretation can occur over the phone or via messages.

 A face to face argument can be resolved far more quickly. When the dust settle couples are able to kiss and make up reassuring their other half that all is well. This can not be done in a long distance relationship. Some could argue that this is a positive, living further apart means one is able to have space and a cool off after an argument.

Travel expenses 

Financial strain can take its toll on a long distance relationship with traveling to and from a particular destination. This could result in one or both individuals not being able to see the other as frequently as they may like or may have previously discussed. 


There are always going to be individuals around you such as your family and friends who have a view on long distance relationships. They may therefore try to discourage you but ultimately it’s down to you and how strongly you feel for the person in question and wether you see a future with them.
Personally I have always commended those that are able to be in a long distance relationship. It takes hard work ,discipline, trust and commitment to make it work which are great attributes.

Many are not open to the idea of a long distance relationship, perhaps due to the effort that has to go into it or not being able to physically be with their partner. 
However, I do believe that one should be open to the idea and not write it off completely. We do not know what the future holds for us which means the person you’re destined to be with could be on the other side of the world. If you meet someone but circumstances means you have to be apart does that mean the end for you both? Should that be a barrier? 

“Distance means so little when someone means so much.” ~ Tom McNeal 

Thanks for reading, I would love to know your views on long distance relationships. 

Does the price of an engagement ring matter? 💍

I wrote a post last month on the topic of “How long is too long to wait between engagement and marriage”. So I decided to stick to the topic of engagement, this time in regards to the price of the ring.


I have come across a lot of articles that suggest that and individual should spend 2 to 3 months of their salary on an engagement ring. My immediate thoughts were, who came up with this notion because it’s frankly ridiculous in my opinion.

An engagement ring is symbolic as it shows both love and commitment but society as somehow turned it into a way to make large amounts of financial gain in the process. I certainly do not believe their should be a fixed rule on how much should be spent on the ring as everyone’s monthly wage and responsibilities differ.

Personally I believe an individual should spend what they can afford to on the ring, and it shouldn’t leave one broke or in debt. Although I don’t think hundreds need to be spent on the ring an extremely cheap ring is also not appealing. An engagement ring will be worn with pride and also for the duration of your lives together, so yes price does matter to a certain extent. I mean you can do better than a £50 ring from Argos and I am sure many would agree.

I am not materialist and genuinely care more about the thought that went into it than the actual price, but I hear way too many people say “it can cost £10 I don’t care” but most don’t really mean that, let’s be honest. I don’t want a ring that someone wears as a day to day ring to be my engagement ring but I would also never ask my partner how much the ring cost so would be none the wiser. One can only hope.

 I would like to believe that if I am going to be engaged to my partner I know them pretty well and should trust their decision in choosing the perfect ring for the perfect price that they can afford. At this stage in our relationship I should be aware of my partners financial circumstances and will certainly not want them to go above their means and would be annoyed if they did so. 

Although we all want a lovely diamond, it is also important to look at the bigger picture. This ring is just the first stage and just the start of the money that will need to be forked out towards our future. There is still the actual big day itself ,wedding ring/band, the honey moon and our lives after marriage, just to mention a few. 

When writing this post there was a particular factors that came to mind. One that I believe has the potential and probably previously has influenced how much is spent on the ring. This was:

Family and friends
Family and friends shouldn’t influence how much you spend on the ring but they do. Family do tend to give their unwanted views a lot in situations such as this, but in all honesty it is none of their business and the price of the ring should be solely down to you the buyer. 

I have read many threads about parents of the bride not being happy with how much was spent on the ring. Number one I think it’s rude for ones parents to ask the price of the ring and secondly the soon to be bride shouldn’t be telling them the price. This is quite personal information that like I mentioned above I wouldn’t even want know.

In regards to friends I think you can ask them to accompany you when picking out the ring just to maybe get a second opinion but never about the price. Individuals watch their friends propose and believe they need to buy a ring of a similar price or look but it is not a competition and not everyone has the same budget,don’t leave yourself out of pocket trying to impress others. 

The only person you should want to impress is your soon to be fiancé who will actually be wearing the ring and be starting a future with you.

To conclude, an engagement is more than just the financial element. You can spend a large amount on a ring and your partner may not even like it because it’s simply not their style. You need to listen to the types of ring your partner describes when your conversing. Look at the style of ring they show you when you’re out and about and use those details to ensure the ring is perfect and not the price.

Never allow outside influence to pressure you into spending more that you are capable of on the ring, because the only person that will be in financial strain is yourself.

Thanks for reading, I would love to know your views on this topic? 

How long is too long to wait between engagement and marriage?

Let’s face it, a lot of females in particular picture their wedding day from a very young age. We sometimes put scrap books together or even find ourselves screen shotting images of ideas that can be in the future incorporated into our big day when it finally comes around. So when that engagement finally comes, just how long will it be till you actually get to walk down the aisle?

Society has formed its idea of the average length of an engagement, which is 14.5 months as the 2015 Real wedding study suggest. Although reports such as this and other social influences should not have any significance on engaged couples it definitely does. Societies image of what a wedding should look like and the cost of it also plays a part in how long a couple is engaged as they spend years trying to save and even end up in debt trying to afford a wedding that is way above their means.

Whilst many women are okay with the idea of a long engagement others aren’t, a large majority want to set a date from the jump and begin with the planning process. However this varies from person to person as a prolonged engagement could be due to various reasons such as:

Finances

One of the factors that could lead to a prolonged engagement is the financial element. One could argue that if you and your partner want a short engagement you should be in a financial position to get married almost immediately. Weddings are not usually cheap, well depending on how big the wedding is. There is also the cost of the honey moon to think about and living arrangements. Should a couple wait till their finances are in tact before they get engaged?

I am sure a fair amount of people would answer no, as they believe that an individuals finances shouldn’t be a barrier that stops them from proposing. If someone feels they are ready to show their commitment by buying the engagement ring in the first instance it is not a problem. The actual funds for the wedding itself does not need to be available in order for a proposal to take place. If everyone waited till they had the full cost of the wedding before asking for someone’s hand it would never happen.

Age

Age is definitely a contributing factor to how long an individual may want to be engaged. A younger couple for instance  may want to get engaged to show commitment to one and other but might not be necessarily ready to get married as they feel they still have a lot to achieve both education wise and financially. Whereas a more mature individual may not want to be engaged for as long as they feel they dont want to waste time and basically want to get it over and done with. An older person may also not see finances as a barrier as they are more likely to go for a smaller wedding in comparison to that of a younger person might. (This is what I have noticed from watching older people around me, not all!)

Child bearing years 

A woman’s biological clock does not tick forever lets be honest, so an older woman for example who wants to be married before having children due to religion or preference may want a shorter engagement so she can begin extending her family.

The engagement ring could have been a shut up ring

Although there are genuine reasons why an engagement may be prolonged, many have formed the concept of the shut up ring, which in short is an engagement ring that is solely given with the intentions of shutting an individual up.If you have reached a stage in your relationship where you are ready for the next stage of commitment but your partner may not be, and you find yourself constantly nagging, you may think you have hit the jackpot when you get the engagement ring, but have you? or is it a shut up ring. Which will ultimately result in you walking down the aisle a very long time down the line. Lets hope not.

My personal opinion

Personally im one of those females that have a wedding album saved in my phone with possible dress ideas and colour schemes the lot, so I am halfway with the planning already and I am not even engaged, crazy right? Not really because I know im not alone with this. The marriage itself is so exciting but the engagement is also a major part which I want to enjoy and celebrate, so I dont want it to be over too quickly. On the other hand I dont want an engagement that last so long people forget it even happened.

As a preference I would want to be engaged for a year to 2 years maximum. Although this is how I envisioned it, if my engagement lasted longer than this time it wouldn’t be the end of the world, saying that anything over three years is a no no. The engagement will probably be used for planning the big day itself in regards to booking a venue which sometimes requires advance booking. However more importantly the engagement period will be used to save.

To be honest to save for a wedding is likely to take longer than 2 years as getting married is more than just the day itself, life after marriage also has to be part of the plans. A good idea is to have savings before an engagement even happens, an account where you simply put money away for the future. This means when the engagement does come you wont be starting from 0. 

It’s really difficult to conclude what too long to  be engaged is, as everyone’s decision on how long to wait differs and is influenced by different elements. Society does often give the time frame of which they think the wedding should follow after the proposal. However, in reality its down to the two individuals getting married. Is society paying for your wedding? No.You and your partner are im guessing so you make the rules.

I would love to know your views on this topic. How long would you ideally be engaged for, before walking down the aisle?

 

Women would you propose to a Man? Men would you want a woman to propose to you?

I know I know it’s the 21st century, what may not have been the norm a few years ago is now the norm. However in regards to a woman proposing to a man my views are very much old school/traditional let’s say and I am sure I am not alone.

Let me be honest, I give absolute props and admiration to women that propose to men, because I certainly wouldn’t have the balls to do so. This shows so many attributes, confidence being one of the ones that stand out, which I would commend her for. It also shows us that she will go for what she wants despite what society makes us believe is to be expected and the stereotypes that exist.

The media definitely plays a significant role in shaping our views on this topic. We are constantly shown images and videos of a man proposing to a woman. Engagement rings that are constantly advertised are very gender specific and aimed for women. Of course a woman proposing to a man does not occur as frequently as a man proposing to a woman. However it does happen and scenarios such as this should be portrayed.

Personally I cannot picture myself taking the steps to propose to my man, of course I can never say never but it’s very very unlikely I should say. I have imagined and pictured from a young age how amazing a proposal would be and it has never involved me being the one that’s asking for a partners hand in marriage. 

 As women the majority of us strive for equality and rightly so, but I do believe in some aspects of life there are some roles a man should take and some a woman should take. For me I would like my man to initiate this and take the lead in this aspect of moving our relationship forward.

This is just my personal opinion and preference; however I am a strong believer that as individuals we should do what we want to do regardless of what is considered to be the right way. Who decides what is the right way anyway? The answer is it comes down to you, the final decision lies in your hands. Don’t base your actions on the opinions of others, if you want to make your boyfriend your fiancé then go for it.

I am a woman so I cannot put myself in a man shoes, so I teamed up with my fellow relationship blogger friend Josh for this one so I could get a male perspective on this topic .

Josh’s view

When Tin told me about this topic, my immediate question was – Why would you as a woman even feel the need to propose to your man?

I get the man and women are equals and if can man can propose, the woman should be able to do the same if she wants. That being said, being equal doesn’t mean we are the same.

One of the differences is our ego. We men have a special relationship with our ego and a lot of time we make decisions based on how it stimulates our ego. I’m not saying you cannot or should not propose to your man, but you saying yes to us would do more for our ego, which affects how we see and appreciate you than us saying yes to you.

Also we are leaders by nature and like to take control as well as influence. I’m yet to meet a man that would like to get married but he’s waiting for his woman to propose first. if a man wants to marry you, he would ask you and if we are not asking, it’s normally for at least one of 3 reasons:

– We do not want to marry you (or anybody else)

– We are not yet sure if being married to you would be good for us

– We are not yet ready to get married because we cannot guarantee that level of commitment or we’re still chasing other things.

So why would you even want to propose to someone that’s not in a state to get married to you?

I have found that some women just want to believe what’s in their head, regardless of what’s staring them in the face. No MAN is too shy or scared to ask for what he really wants, so don’t feel the need to take the initiative on our behalf. Also if you are going to take the lead, you have taken what makes us feel like men, so don’t be surprised when you end up with a boy, and you have to take the lead on everything – money, bills, kids, school etc.

I can imagine how frustrating it can be for a woman waiting on her partner whilst factoring age and her close friends getting married. However if we have a good thing, I’d rather her ask me about my intentions than her proposing to me. When I proposed to my wife, that worm I had in my stomach when I asked her parents, bought the ring, getting down on one knee and hearing her say yes was priceless. It felt like I won the lottery and it could not have been the same if she had proposed to me. I probably would have laughed and thought it was a prank.

Thanks so much for reading this post. I would love to know both women and men’s view points on this topic. I would also love to hear from a man that has had a woman propose to him or a woman that has proposed, and if you would be interested in doing a guest post on this topic. Kindly comment below 🙂

Does your partner give their phone more attention than you?

I thought long and hard about what my next post should be about, I even changed the topic of what I was originally writing about. I wanted this post to be about something that I could relate to and that I knew others could also. In this post, I will be addressing how fixated and easily distracted I believe this generation is with their smart phones, especially in the presense of their partners and how it can have the potential to cause issues in the relationships if it is not nipped in the bud.


Let’s be honest,in this day and age the majority of us love our phones and frankly can not function without them. It’s not neccerily the handset but more importantly the apps that are on them. Whether it be instagram, twitter or snap chat, we find ourselves in a situation where we constantly want to know what’s going on in the digital world. But can this be taking a toll on our relationships and if not now will it eventually lead to problems further down the road? I say yes, if there is no balance.

Of course it’s the 21st centuary and smart phones play a significant role in society, it is now easier to reply to emails efficiently, communicate with family and friends and  also a platform to promote and run a business. However like with most things in life, a balance needs to be maintained, especially if it results in you neglecting a partner.

Relationship issues caused by an obsession with our mobile phones

Communication issues
Obsessive phone usage can lead to issues in the relationship in regards to communication. Individuals are so engrossed in their phones these days, which is resulting in them communicating with a partner over platforms such as whatsapp/text instead of face to face. Adressing an issue via message can lead to miscommunication which is why face to face is always a better option. If something is misunderstood in person it can be cleared up then and there. Whereas a message can lead to more prolonged arguments and a more heated row may follow.

Attention diversion from your partner to your phone.

We have all been there! Giving our partner the side eye because they have been on their phone the whole time you’re supposed to be spending together. You’re having a cuddle but one of their hands is scrolling through instagram. You need to be able to give your partner your attention when spending time with them. Of course no one wants to come across as jealous or insecure especially over a smartphone but who wouldn’t be annoyed if a phone is getting more attention than them. This could also come across as you value your smart phone more than them.

Unnecessary arguments

Being on your phone 24/7 or too much can lead to disagreements, so why not avoid that by cutting your phone use down? Of course many of us have the habit of continuously picking our phones up to see what is going on as believe we are missing out on something if we do not do so. However we need to make a conscious effort to know when to and when not to pick up the phone, like not during a romantic moment.

How to prevent this issues

Ditch the phones on date night

Try to avoid using your phone during a date night or a romantic evening. I am sure whatever notifications are on your phone can wait a few hours to be read. Imagine having a lovely dinner with your partner and all of a sudden a beep comes in and you read and reply. Me personally I would be extremely annoyed and naturally will assume that whatever is happening on your phone is of more importance than me. Of course there is situations where emergencies occur and a notification cannot be ignored, however unless this is the circumstance ignore the message.

Do you do the same?

Personally I do believe that this generation has become so reliant on social media, myself included. I find myself constantly checking my different social media platforms to know what’s going on. When we first wake up instead of greeting our loved ones we are checking our phones for notifications which should not be the norm. Hell some of us are even upset when we pick our phones up and have no notifications.

However, we need to ask ourselves why are we so reliant on interaction on social media on such a continuous basis? Why do we need to constantly check what everyone is posting? Why is your phone the first thing you look at in the morning and the last thing before you go to bed? Especially if your other half is present. We need to ask ourselves: if I gave my partner as much attention as I give my phone would my relationship have the potential to be better? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, maybe you need to reevaluate how much time you spend on your phone.

How to address the issue

Lastly, I do believe people seem to get very defensive when topics such as this are brought to their attention, but the conversation needs to be had. It just needs to be approached calmly. No screaming the house down because the fact is many people are stubborn, if they feel they are being attacked they may latch onto the thing your telling them not to the most. Which in this case is a mobile phone. 

Try to have a heart to heart conversation with them where you tell them exactly how this is making you feel and express the fact that you feel like you are lacking bonding time when together due to their phone usage. Hopefully this will bring about change or even a cut back or even better an agreement can be made where at certain times there is no phone usage and just time for you both. The fact that someone is asking you to use your phone less around them should be seen as a compliment, they want your attention and company.

Thanks so much for reading. Would love to know your views on this topic. Does your other half give their phone more attention than you?  Comment below